Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
