He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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