She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Randomize
