He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I wish you could order shots online.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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