I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
