dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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