He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
