He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
