Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
