So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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