I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
