ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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