Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
