xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
