I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
