Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
