Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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