something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize