I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
