She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
