And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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