I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
