The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
