their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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