I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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