It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
