How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I can't turn off my feet"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
