Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
