why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
this hospital has no fireball
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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