I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
