That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize