OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I am one with the molecules
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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