He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
