Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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