Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
babies were throwing up all over the place
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
