wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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