I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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