if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I look better un-naked...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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