ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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