it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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