Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
