4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize