My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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