my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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