why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
