Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
