So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
