is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
