I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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