She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
