can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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