My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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