Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
