As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize