i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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