i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
