You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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