I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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