Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
