That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
