I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
