Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
