The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
