We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
