Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
