we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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