i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
