I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
