I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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