R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
