He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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