but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
